Parenting is a tough gig. Parents have to walk a thin line between ensuring that their child grows up to be a good citizen of society and making sure they grow into their own person having interests and passions of their own. Some aspects of the child’s personality need to be controlled and shaped carefully, while others need to be encouraged and given room to blossom. First time parents especially have a lot to figure out and very little time to figure it out into. While each child is different and will present different challenges, here are some parenting rules to definitely steer clear from while raising your child.
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child
This is a parenting rule that is mostly on its way out, but is still a common enough saying that it needs to be actively challenged. Corporal punishment only harms your child’s relationship with you, teaching them that the people who love them have the right also to hurt them and that abuse can co-exist with care. Your children will make mistakes, but it is important to recognise that they often don’t know any better. It is your job as a parent to advise them and correct harmful behavior without violence.
I as the Adult Know Best
Contrary to popular conception, it will not hurt your authority as a parent to take into consideration your child’s perspective. Of course it is true that you will know better than your child in most situations, but steamrolling over their thoughts and emotions and enforcing your worldview on them leaves them confused about their own contrary feelings. Instead, listen patiently to what they have to say and respect their point of view. Set the tone early on in their life for a healthy inclination towards discussion and mutual respect for others’ views.
If I am a Parent, I cannot be my Child’s Friend
The truth is that you can be more than one thing to your child. During the formative years of your kid’s life you usually need to be the disciplinarian, but there is no reason why you cannot when the times comes have a more equitable relationship. Do not turn every mistake your child shares with you into a lecture. Learn to distinguish between when your child needs advice and when they simply need a listening ear and for their emotions to be validated. Being your child’s friend during their teenage years especially is very important since that is usually when problems with authority manifest.
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